Wie man beim Antragschreiben zum Tier werden kann — das beschreibt in der immer lesenswerten Kolumne „Sticky Wicket“ des Journal of Cell Science die Kunstfigur „Mole“ folgendermaßen:

If you know somebody who is writing a grant, keep away. Understand that the grant writer is like a wild animal with an injury — you may want to help, but its more likely that you will lose a finger than that they will thank you for it. You may walk past their office and see them staring into space, but this is not the time to say, “Hi, I see you’re taking a little break, so I wanted to ask you whether you think I should do my experiment before or after lunch.” Don’t lightly rap on the door, thinking that this will avoid breaking their concentration. Don’t call or leave notes. If your spouse is writing a grant, do not ask about next month’s dinner arrangements. Don’t go near them, talk to them or query them. Because, in that innocent moment of interruption lasting mere seconds, the key idea that was going to bring it all together into one brilliant worldview will be lost forever. What was this marvelous idea? Well, we’ll never know now will we! You will have produced the mental equivalent of a computer crash, and it will take hours and hours to reboot, during which time the grant writer will play unlimited games of solitaire or completely reorganize their MP3 files rather than work on the application. And it will all be your fault.

Köstlich! Und womöglich dürfte sich so mancher wiedererkennen.